Welcome back to another “fake” review for the supposed fictional book in the Brandon Sanderson series, Alcatraz Versus the Scrivener’s Bones. I’m just pretending to be a book reviewer, but I know the truth about the real world and I’m going to tell you a little more about it. Don’t let the librarians or teachers see this! Brandon Sanderson is really a pen-name for Alcatraz Smedry, who’s out to stop the evil librarians who are controlling the world.
In this next book of his biography, Alcatraz tells the story of how he has to travel to the great library of Alexandria, in Egypt. Yep, it’s still there, with every book and piece of writing ever recorded. No, it wasn’t destroyed. See how you don’t know the real truth. He’s going there to find out about his father, who he’s never even met. He’s traveling in this really cool giant glass dragon, along with his family: his cousin Sing, who’s talent is always tripping at the wrong moment; his cousin Quentin, who’s talent is to speak gibberish; and his cousin Australia, who’s special ability is she wakes up looking ugly, or looking like whoever she was dreaming of. As you might’ve guessed, the Smedry family are all named after prisons.
But if Alcatraz wants to find his father, he’ll have to get past the terrifying library curators, who will suck out your soul if you pick up any of the books in the library of Alexandria. And then there’s the Scrivener’s Bones who are on his tail. Will he survive this time? I’m not going to tell you, it’s too dangerous; just go out and get the book and find out for yourself.
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Originally written on July 18th 2009 ©Alex C. Telander.