“I Saw Zombies Eating Santa Claus: A Breathers Christmas Carol” by S G Browne (Gallery Books, 2012)


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The bestselling author of the hilariously entertaining zombie book, Breathers, has a Christmas treat for you: a zombie holiday novella featuring some of the characters you’ve come to love from Breathers.  It’s a Christmas miracle like no other; one you won’t soon forget.

Andy Warner is having problems.  Other than being a zombie, he’s also a test subject in a horrible lab, where the employees care nothing about their zombie guinea pigs and will poke and prod, burn and dismember, and do whatever they feel like with them.  But after the unfolding events of Breathers, this is what his life has become now.  Zombies no longer have any rights whatsoever; many have been put to rest permanently, while those still around are trapped in these labs across the country.  But Andy has a plan to spring him and his fellow zombies out of this prison, along with the help of a zombie support group.

Once on the outside, Andy does his best to keep his friends safe, but also make sure they have a regular supply of fresh human to keep them healthy and well.  Funnily enough, when people treat you like nothing more than a corpse in a lab, you don’t care that much when you want to eat them.  But the people from the lab are looking for them, scouring the city, and eventually they will be found.  Though Andy also knows he has an ally in one of the laboratory employees, but doesn’t know why.

And in the middle of all this, Andy meets a lonely nine year-old girl who believes he’s Santa, because he was dressed as Santa (the perfect disguise at Christmas) and wants just one gift in the whole world: to have her bad parent of a mother pay more attention to her and love her.  So now Andy has a guilt problem to deal with, as well as to save all his zombie friends and himself from getting caught and thrown back in the lab.  He knows if he gets caught, he’ll end up on the body farm this time.

Browne does a great job of replicating the voice and tone of Breathers, putting you right back in the world he created and making you realize how much you missed it.  Andy even comes up with a few haikus to entertain you.  Readers will be thrilled with this Christmas present, and be left wondering if Browne will be writing any more adventures of Andy and his unusual gang.

Originally written on December 4, 2012 ©Alex C. Telander.

To purchase a copy of I Saw Zombies Eating Santa Claus from Amazon, and help support BookBanter, click HERE.

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Breathers  Fated  Lucky Bastard

“Fated” by S G Browne (New American Library, 2010)

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Much like his debut book, Breathers, which became a bestseller, S. G. Browne’s new novel, Fated, has a strong, compelling, tongue-in-cheek voice to it that will hook readers from the beginning and keep them reading to the end.  Browne straddles the line of scenes that are awkward and outlandish, making the reader perhaps uncomfortable, but balances it well with entertaining humor.  Fated is a book about some very strange characters who are in a way gods, and how they interact and get involved with humanity.

Fabio Delucci is bored with his job and would really like a change.  He spends his days and hours as fate, deciding events and choices for many ordinary people across the globe.  He knows not to step on the toes of destiny, and so must choose average, normal, uninteresting fates for his people.  He’s been doing it for millennia and would really like a change.  He also has a five hundred year-old feud with Death, and spends his little free time hanging out with Sloth and Gluttony; meanwhile Destiny keeps trying to tempt him with her wiles.  Then Fabio starts to notice an ordinary human, Sara Griffin, who is on Destiny’s pass, but continues to cross his own.  He keeps meeting her, then starts to stalk her, and before he knows it he slowly but surely realizes he’s falling in love with her.  Rule #1 is not to get involved with humans; God forbids it.  Now Fabio doesn’t know what he’s going to do.

CLICK HERE to purchase your copy from Bookshop Santa Cruz and help support BookBanter.

Originally written on December 10, 2010 ©Alex C. Telander.

You might also like . . .

Breathers

“Breathers: A Zombie’s Lament” by S. G. Browne (Broadway, 2009)

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Zombies are a very popular subject matter these days, with movies, horror novels, anthologies, and many graphic novels being written, created and published about the living dead.  Many of them seek to terrify the reader with gruesome details, while the movies involving the undead running at ridiculous speeds attempt to make viewers scream.  Then there are those stories that feature zombies – and vampires and werewolves – in a lust-filled, sexual mishmash that I really don’t want to think about.

And then there’s Breathers.

Breathers is a fun, funny, and at times serious look at the life of someone who one day wakes up and is a zombie.  How much would your life change?  How would your parents not only think of you, but treat you?  Would they allow you to live in their home (formerly your home)?  What about your social life?

Breathers is the story of Andy Warner who has just this happen to him.  It’s a world where zombies are seen as less than real people . . .  because they aren’t.  They have no rights, no respect from anyone, and are hounded and ridiculed by all who see them.  Andy lives with his parents, in the basement, where he’s not allowed to interact very much with them, certainly not eat with them or engage in social gatherings.  When outside, he must keep away from crowded areas, and is not allowed to socialize with large groups of zombies.  His “un-life” is pretty much pointless.

But that all changes when he begins attending a help group known as Undead Anonymous.  There he befriends some fellow zombies and gets close to a girl named Rita.  The help group is allowed by the government as it helps to enforce the laws telling zombies what they can and cannot do; mostly cannot.  And then things begin to change when they bring some new friends along who share this tasty venison that miraculously seems to make the zombies feel better and even heal the wounds that caused their deaths.

S. G. Browne has created a very entertaining, tongue-in-check and matter-of-fact novel about zombies and how they would be treated by the human race who has done so well in the past with anything that is different.  Browne is never over the top or preachy, but many of his words echo off events and reactions of humanity’s past.  And ultimately it does leave one asking themselves a question: how would you treat a zombie if they knocked on your door?

CLICK HERE to purchase your copy from Bookshop Santa Cruz and help support BookBanter.

Originally written on January 11th, 2010 ©Alex C. Telander.

For an interview with S. G. Browne check out BookBanter Episode 24.

“Breathers” by S. G. Browne

Just confirmed the interview with S. G. Browne, author of Breathers, for this coming Saturday.  So the episode with that interview is planned to go up January 15th.

Breathers is an entertaining, tongue-in-cheek, funny novel about what if you discovered that you were a zombie and didn’t die as you’d expected to.  How would your life change with your family and friends, how would people view you, and what would your social life be like?

Breathers

“The Breathers” by S. G. Browne

A couple of months ago, during the middle of summer, an author stepped into the store, met with me and signed his stock.  It was S. G. Browne, author of the zombie romantic comedy The Breathers: A Zombie’s Lament.  We started chatting and now he’ll be coming up to do a signing at the Borders store on December 19th from 1PM-4PM.

I also received a review copy of the book and am about a hundred pages into it and really enjoying it.  It’s a book about a world where zombies have existed for some time, but in very small populations.  No one knows who will turn into a zombie when they die, it seems to be random.  The problem is the zombies are treated worse than hated animals, and have no rights or respect from anyone.  And while they can’t necessarily feel things like pain, they do still have feelings.  The story is told from the viewpoint of a recently made zombie, Andy Warner, and how he deals with this life change, or rather undead change through coping mechanisms like seeking rights and recognition for zombies, as well as attending weekly meetings for the Undead Anonymous group.

So far its a very entertaining read that puts a whole different spin on the zombie story which is still be written and rewritten and published.  Zombies are still very much in, the good thing is Breathers is a refreshing twist and chance to the usual zombie romp.

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If things go as planned, I shall also be interviewing S. G. Browne for BookBanter to see what he has to say and thinks about his book, how he came up with it, and what he’s working on now.