“Alcatraz Versus the Shattered Lens” by Brandon Sanderson (Scholastic, 2010)

Alcatraz Versus the Shattered Lens

Hey.  Hey you!  Come here.  Are you alone?  No librarians nearby, right?  Yes, librarians.  You heard me right.  Okay, good.  Yes, librarians are evil.  They’re an unstoppable cult that has pulled the wool over everyone’s eyes for a long time.  Everything you think you know isn’t the way it is.  Don’t believe me?  Then be sure to check out the first three volumes of Alcatraz Smedry’s incredible biography – Alcatraz Versus the Evil Librarians, Alcatraz Versus the Scrivener’s Bones, and Alcatraz Versus the Knights of Crystallia – written under the secret name of bestselling author Brandon Sanderson.  Sounds familiar now, right?  Well, keep this quiet, but Alcatraz is back with his next installment, and it’s a doozy!

Alcatraz and his friends and family are preparing for war against the Evil Librarians.  Except, of course, for his mother who is an evil librarian herself (we don’t know the complete story on this yet) and his dad, who has just gone off to who knows where.  The council is still trying to decide how best to handle this when the Evil Librarians lay siege to the city of Mokia.  The council refuses to help at the moment, while the Knights of Crystallia are just hanging about, making sure all the Smedrys are okay.  Alcatraz hatches a stoopid plan; in fact it’s his stoopidest plan yet!  He will travel to Mokia and sneak into the city without getting caught, then he’ll let the Knights of Crystallia know where he is and they’ll have to come save him.  Everything sort of goes according to plan until he comes face to face with the giant robots.

This has got to be Alcatraz’s most gripping adventure yet, where it really seems like he could easily get killed, but then he’s telling his story – pretending to be Brandon Sanderson – so he must make it in the end.  He gets up to his usual stoopid stuff, I mean stupid: like using his and his family’s weird and seemingly useless talents, messing things up with Bastille – even though he really likes her — oh yeah, and not spellings words correctly.  If you’ve read Alcatraz’s early adventures, you won’t want to miss this one!

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Originally written on April 10, 2011 ©Alex C. Telander.

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Alcatraz Versus the Evil Librarians    Alcatraz Versus the Scrivener's Bones    Alcatraz Versus the Knights of Crystallia